All I Ever Wanted
by MindlessStranger
Summary: When Derek Shepherd's wife, Rose, cheats on him with one of her high school students, will he take her back or find comfort in his best friend, Meredith Grey. Will his life turn out in the way he planned? Will they get the happily ever after they hope for? Rated T for mild language, maybe to M for later parts ;)
1. Prolouge

Derek POV

It is pouring rain, as usual, but this isn't Seattle's usual downpour, it is one of the worst storms of the year. I just got finished a 14 hour craniotomy and I can't wait to get home. I park my car in the driveway, I can see the lamp in the bedroom on from the shades and see two shadows on the bed. What the hell.

I climb the three stairs to my front door, and turn the knob. The door is locked so I grab the key from my pocket and open the door. I hear giggles upstairs. I can feel the steam coming out of my ears with rage. What the hell does she think she is doing.

I quietly climb the stairs and the giggles have turned into moans, and I stand right outside of the bedroom door. The bedroom I have shared for the past eleven years with my wife, whom is now sleeping with God knows who. I open the door and two figures that are on the bed freeze. Rose pulls the sheets over her body and the boy's hands fly over his junk.

"Derek! It isn't what it looks like," she shouts, embarrassment in her voice.

"Oh really? So you aren't fucking another man, or should I say another boy in our bed?" I shout back at her. the boy grabs his pants and flys out the door and I can hear the front door slam. I'm angry, but not upset.

"I-I-I, um Derek please, it didn't mean anything," she cries.

I nod slowly, ashamed in the woman who I loved and what she had turned into. I turn back around and head down the stairs.

"Derek, wait!" She cries, chasing after me.

I stop at the front door, "I will be back for my things tomorrow if the weather is cleared up," I open the door and she continues to cry after me as I step into my car, pulling out of the driveway and don't even look back. I pull in the familiar parking spot in front of an apartment building and go up to the third floor. I knock on the door and the woman answers.

"Der Bear?" She swings the door open, her hair pulled into a pony tail and a beer in her hand.

"Mer," I say, the desperation coming through my voice, my eyes bloodshot from the built up tears and she pulls me into a tight embrace.

"Come on, let's get you a beer," she pulls me into her apartment and sets me down on the couch and hands me a beer from the six-pack sitting on the counter.

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><p>AN: Okay so, instead of Derek being married to Addison, it is Rose because I hate Rose but I like Addison. Don't worry because Addison and Mark and everyone else is in this story. Meredith is newly divorced so that is why she is living in an apartment.<p>

Meredith, Derek, and Mark all grew up together in Seattle then met Addison in med school.  
>Meredith knew about Lexie growing up and they recently became close when Lexie and Mark started dating.<br>Addison is married to Alex and they have a son.  
>Cristina and Meredith met intern year and they became friends. Cristina is married to Owen.<br>Callie and Arizona are married but won't show up in this much because Sophia does not exist. They do however have a daughter that was adopted from Africa (Zola)  
>George, Izzie, April, and Jackson do not exist in this story, sorry not sorry.<p>

All caught up (basically) now

PS: Sorry for the short part, they are all kind of short until the second part. Please review and tell me how you like it :3


	2. Chapter 1

Two Weeks Later

Meredith POV

I walk into my apartment, it's cleaner than it usually is which only means one thing. Derek was off today.

"Derek," I call out, he comes waking out of the guest bedroom in jogging pants and his indigo shirt.

"Like what I did with the place?" He smirks, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer.

"It's clean, you really need a hobby when you aren't working. Mark and Addie are coming over later. Have you heard from-" he stops me mid sentence.

"She keeps calling, I'm not ready to talk to her."

"Derek, it has been two weeks so you either need to go and make up with her or I have some good names of divorce lawyers," I pull my pants off and walk toward my bedroom.

"Come on Mer, I don't wanna see your ass," He says that but I can feel his eyes staring at it.

"My house, I can do whatever I want!" I call back, looking through my drawers for shorts and pull out a pair and slide them on, going back and sitting on the opposite side of the couch from him and lean over and grab the remote.

"I was watching that!" He reached for the remote again and I held it away from his reach.

"You have watched it all day, my turn."

"Hmm, nope," he grabbed my waist and held my down against the couch and started tickling me.

"Derek! Stop it!" I giggled and squirmed, which made him do it more.

"Surrender!" He continued to hit all the spot only he knew about.

"No!" I tightened my grip on the remote and he finally stopped when the for swung open and the familiar voice came from the doorway.

"Are you two decent?" Mark joked.

"Yes Mark," we both groaned and Derek let me up and I stood up fixing my shirt.

"I don't know if I'm upset or happy by that matter," he smirked and set the case of beer of the counter.

"Where is Addie?" Derek asked taking a drink of the already opened beer.

"Something about having to find a babysitter for Henry because Alex went into an emergency surgery."

"So she is still coming because I can't be stuck with you dimwits alone for more than a thirty minute period," I laughed and they both acted shocked then burst into laughter.

"I see how you are Mer, you seriously need to get laid," Mark smirked again and took a beer from the case.

"You asshole, I actually have a date tomorrow, not that it's any of your business."

"You didn't tell me you had a date," Derek added.

"Well you aren't my mother so I don't have to tell you sh-" I got cut off by Addison opening the door and a toddler running inside and wrapping his arms around me.

"Auntie Mer!" the little boy exclaimed.

"Sorry guys, I couldn't get a babysitter but he should be falling asleep soon," Addison sighed, taking a beer and gulping down half the bottle.

"Hey there munchkin," I looked down at him. He was pretty tall for being only three, he had brown hair that matched his dad's and blue eyes just like his mother's.

"Oh so no hug for Uncle Derek?" He snorted.

The little boy released my leg and ran into Derek's arms, "sowwy uncle dewek," Henry wrapped his arms around Derek's neck and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"That's my man," Derek laughed, then proceeded to tickle the boy and he let out a loud squeal.

Addison and I both looked at the pair, Addison's eyes focusing in on Henry and mine focused on Derek. How could Rose or any woman for that matter let a man that looks this good and is so sweet and gentle yet masculine go so easily.

"Ok so Derek, what movie are we watching?" Mark asked, sitting in his usual spot in the lounge chair.

"Well I was thinking either The Switch or The Guilt Trip," he set Henry down on hit feet then sat down in his usual spot, on the right side of the couch with his legs laid out across the cushions.

"Definitely The Switch, Jennifer Aniston and that body," Mark bit his lip and made a half grunt noise.

"Um, you are aware you are dating my sister right?" I gave him an annoyed look and plopped down in between Derek's legs and laid against his chest like I always sit on movie nights.

Addison let out a slight giggle, "she got you."

Addison laid on the love seat just left of the couch and Henry climbed up next to her and cuddled into her chest.

When I see Addison like this, I can tell that Henry had changed her into a mother. I want that, I use to think because my mother was a terrible mother that I never wanted children because I didn't want to be like her.

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><p>AN; So how are you guys liking it? The main friendship is between Meredith, Derek, Mark, and Addison. Please review and tell me some ideas maybe?


	3. Chapter 2

The next morning

Derek POV

I open my eyes, I feel a light body-weight on top of me, it's Meredith. Her breathing is steady and smooth so she is still asleep. Addison and Henry are still asleep on the love seat but Mark went home last night. The sun is shining through the windows in the apartment, the clock on the wall says 8:03am so I don't have to be up for another thirty minutes so I close my eyes just to sleep a bit longer.

I wake up to little giggles coming from the kitchen, one distinct giggle that can light up a room and the other is a little boy giggle. I sit up and look over to Meredith and Henry in the kitchen.

"Morning sunshine," Meredith giggles and takes another sip from the coffee mug she has in her hands.

"Good mowning uncle dewek," Henry says with his mouth full of Cheerios.

"Where is Addie?" I walk over and grab a mug and pour myself some coffee.

"She said she needed a shower so I am watching my favorite munchkin," she ruffles Henry's hair which causes him to giggle.

"Oh, well what time is your 'date' tonight?"

"Why the air quotes, it's a real date. It is at 6pm, why?"

"Mhm, what's this guy's name then?" I give her a smirk.

"His name is Finn Dandridge and he is a veterinarian. Now no more questions, I have to get ready so can you keep an eye on Henry?"

"Of course although you gotta fill me in after the date."

"Whatever Derek," she called from her bedroom.

Later that day

"Hey Derek, when's your shift ending tonight?" Mark came up and asked me while I was finishing up some charts.

"Actually I am finishing my last charts for the day, what's up?"

"Well first," he reached into his pocket and looked around to see if anyone was around then he pulled out a black box and inside was a silver ring.

"You are gonna ask Lexie to marry you," I smiled looked at Mark. A few years ago he was sleeping with anything that moved but once he met Lexie, everything changed. He became a better man.

He slid the box back into his pocket, "yes, tonight actually. One problem, I told Addison that me and Lexie would watch Henry but you know, so can you watch him?"

"Sure thing man, what time will she drop him off?"

"Around 5, I can't thank you enough man."

"Hey, I proud of you. You have finally grown up,"

He punched my shoulder, "very funny. Wish me luck!"

I pulled him into a quick bro hug then he hurried off.

My best friend, the man who is my only brother is going to propose tonight. I shook my head then went into the attendings lounge. Addison was standing there having a make-out session with Alex.

I cleared my throat, "um Addison, I don't mean to interrupt or anything but Mark had a last minute thing and ask me to watch Henry tonight,"

She pulled away from Alex, "um okay, of course Mark is gonna cancel. Can you just pick him up from the daycare. He has his things in a bag for the night, thanks Derek."

"Yeah no problem," I grabbed my street clothes and went into the bathroom and changed quickly. I went back into the lounge and no one was there, I stuffed my scrubs into the laundry bin then rushed down to the daycare.

"Uncle Dewek!" Henry dropped what he was doing as soon as I walked through the door and wrapped his arms around his legs.

I lifted him up and set him on my hip, "Hey bud, your going home with me tonight, that cool with you?"

He looked at me with a serious face, "you still hab Cheerios?"

I nod.

"Den yes, let's get outta here."

I laughed and set him down, he went and grabbed his backpack from the cubbie and pulled it on to his back. I signed him out with the teacher and grabbed the bag with his clothes in it and he held on to my hand. As we were walking to my truck, he was talking and talking my ear off.

"Den, he stuck it up his nose. it wash nasty," he made a gross face and I lifted him into the backseat in the booster seat I had already in my truck.

"Yuck, what do you wanna get for dinner?" I climb into the front seat and start my truck, pulling out of the hospital parking lot.

"Um, chicken nuggets!" He exclaims, taking a toy out of his backpack and playing with it.

After I dropped by McDonald's and picked up Henry some chicken nuggets, I drove to Meredith's apartment and we went inside.

"Mer, you home?" I call out, walking through the front door. Henry walks in with his leftover chocolate milk in his hands and climbs up on the couch.

"I'm in my room, I'll be out soon."

"Ok, I am watching Henry tonight by the way," I set his backpack and overnight bag on the dining room table.

"Uncle Dewek, can you turn on da tv, I wanna watch piderman(Spider-Man)!"

I walk over and cut the tv on, turning it to Spider-Man.

"Thank you," he gives me a big smile.

I sit on the opposite side of the couch and look at the tv, then out of the corner of my eye, Meredith comes walking into the living room. Her hair is loosely curled with her bangs pinned back. She has on casual red dress and white wedges. She looks absolutely gorgeous.

"How does it look?" She says, standing in front of the tv.

"Perfect," I stare in awe.

"It looks pretty auntie, now tan you move so I can watch piderman, please," he looks at her with his signature puppy dog eyes.

She rolls her eyes and walks over to him, kissing his forehead and ruffling his hair, "I'll see you both later,"

"Have fun," I smile back at her as she grabs her purse and a makes her way out of the door.

By 9pm, Henry has climbed into my lap and fallen asleep. I slowly pick him up, he shuffles a bit but doesn't wake up and I slowly make my way to my room. I lay him down on the bed and cover him up. I go back into the living room and lay on the couch, slowly dozing off.

Meredith POV

It is already past midnight when I get back home. I quietly open the door and take my shoes off as I step in, trying not to make much noise. The tv is still on so I walk over and cut it off. Derek's eyes shoot open, looked at me with bloodshot eyes.

"Go back to sleep," I whisper.

"What time is it?" He sits up, running the sleep out of his eyes.

"It's 12:15am,"

"How was the date?" He walks into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.

"It's late, I am going to bed," I walk toward my bedroom and he follows.

"So that bad huh?" He whispers as we walk into the bedroom.

"Actually, it was great. We went to this nice Chinese restaurant then we went to a movie, then we walked in the park talking." I smile, recalling the events. I take off the earrings I had in and place my diamond studs.

"You hate Chinese," he lays down on the bed and watches my next move closely.

"Yes well, doesn't mean I didn't have a good time," I walk into my closet and shut the door almost at a crack and change into my pajamas.

"When do I get to meet this guy?" He smirks as I come out of the closet and sit on the bed next to him.

"It was a first date, I don't even know if I will go on another date with him," I lie. We made plans lunch tomorrow.

"Mhm, alright, tell me about him."

"Derek, I am tired, I am going to bed, you go get in your own bed," I try to push him out of the bed.

"Henry is sleeping in my bed, guess I'll be sleeping here tonight," he smirks at me.

I let out a deep sigh, "fine."

AN: I know this is a really short chapter but I will try updating soon again. Please leave a rate and comment.


	4. Chapter 3

Two weeks later

Derek POV

Meredith comes through the front door as I finish cooking stir fry.

"Wow, surprising you are home," I look over at her and reach for the plates in the cabinet.

"Well I just came by to change, me and Finn are going to that Italian restaurant and I want to look halfway decent."

"Mer, you always look beautiful," I offer her a smile and she smiles back. She has spent every day with this Finn guy and sometimes she would even stay the night over there. She swears that they are not having sex, but come on, it's Meredith.

"Whatever, should I go with purple or red sweater?"

"Purple, it makes your eyes sparkle."

She smiles, I haven't seen her smile this big in years, not since her first husband George. She hates talking about it though. George and her went to high school with us and they were never really good together, well he wasn't good. They got married when she was an intern but two years ago, he decided he wanted to join the military and sent her a letter after basic training saying he couldn't have a long distance relationship. She was devastated and would stay drunk every time she was not on call.

She had already changed and come back in the kitchen with her purple sweater and blue skinny jeans that always showed off her butt by the time I got out of my thoughts.

"Beautiful," I smiled at her, putting some stir fry on a plate. She grabbed a fork and took a bite.

"Why are you such a good cook," she joked.

"Stop eating my food, you hate Chinese anyway," I joked, taking my plate and sitting at the breakfast bar where I already had a beer sitting.

"Your Chinese is the only one I eat," she smiled, going to sit on the couch and grabbed her tan riding boots and slipping them on, she grabbed her purse and car keys and opened the front door.

"I might be back, see you at the hospital tomorrow if not," she gave me a friendly smile before leaving.

I ate my stir fry and finished off the beer I had and went to lay down on my usual spot on the couch. I turned on Lost.

An hour later I heard the lock turn and looked to see who was here. Meredith come through and she had been crying.

"Mer?" I stood up and walked over to her and she wrapped her arms around and and hugged me.

"He... Is... Married..." She said and cried harder into my chest. I had no idea she was this attached to him.

"Here sit down, I'll be back," I sat her at the island and went into my room. Normally I would be against going to a bar when I have to work tomorrow but I didn't even care. My best friend was hurting and needed a drink. I changed into a normal shirt and dark washed jeans then went back into the living room.

"What are you doing," she had stopped crying but still looked down.

"We are going to Joe's, you need a drink," I smiled while I was putting on my shoes.

"This is why you are my best friend but I really don't feel like it."

I put on my fake offended look, "you don't want to go drinking with me?"

She rolled her eyes, "no it's just you have to work tomorrow," the look always made her smile.

"I will only have a few drinks," I grabbed my car keys and she stood up.

"Alright."

We took the short drive to Joe's and when we got in we went straight to the bar. She ordered a tequila shot and I ordered my usual single malt double scotch. She had took 3 shots by the time I finished my drink.

"I love this song!" the song S&M by Rihanna came on and she took another shot and dragged me over to where people were dancing. She was dancing normal then I guess the tequila really hit her and she started grinding against me and I just went with it.

She turned to face me and we were dancing face to face and she started to sing and I couldn't help but smile.

"Cause I maybe bad but I'm perfectly good at it," she bobbed her head while singing.

"Sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it," we both burst into laughter at the last part and she continued to dance.

After the song ended she dragged us back to the bar and I ordered water because I had to drive us and she had a beer.

"You know, he was a terrible kisser," she said to me and took a drink of her beer.

"Finn?"

She nodded, "Also he said he didn't want to have sex because he wanted something different."

"Seriously?" I snickered.

"Yeah, also he had this weird love for Chinese food and I was forced to eat it."

I just nodded and listened to her as she went on about all his terrible qualities.

By 12am she was wasted and I basically had to carry her out of there. I helped her up the stairs to the apartment and we went in. I took her shoes off and helped her to her bedroom.

"You know you are such an amazing guy," she pulled the shirt over her head and sat down on her bed.

"You need to sleep off that tequila," I started to walk out of the room when she called my name.

"Come sit down, I don't wanna be lonely," she gave my the drunk puppy dog eyes and I went to sit next to her.

"I still down see why Rose or any woman for that matter would ever let you go," she laid her head against my arm.

"So glad you won't remember this in the morning."

She turned around and climbed the rest of the way in her bed and laid down. I stood up and started to walk out.

"Where do you think you are going?" She questioned then motioned for me to come lay down.

"Meredith," I said then she gave me the eyes again. I went and laid down next to her and she snuggled up against my side.

"Derek," she moved her head back and looked at me. Her eyes were filled with hurt and then before I got a chance to say anything back, she pushed her lips against mine. Her kiss was filled with love and passion and my mind was a blur and I pulled away.

"We can't," I tried to catch my breath from the surprise.

She moved on to my lap and kissed me again, harder than before then pulled away and took her bra off and her breast fell out.

"We can," she whispered against my lips then I pushed mine against hers.

Writers POV

Their kiss got heated as Meredith pulled Derek's shirt off then their lips found each other again and she was moving her hands up and down his stomach and chest, pulling slightly on the hairs and he groaned loudly against her lips and her tongue made her way into his.

He unbuttoned her pants then rolled her over and got on top of her, their lips not leaving each others. She pulled off her pants and underwear in one swift move and his lips moved from hers down to her neck and nibbled against her pulse point and she moaned and grabbed at his toned back which made him suck and leave a love mark on neck and he moved to the other side.

She quickly reached down and unbuttoned his pants and slid then down a bit then he kicked them off. She had one hand grabbing at his back and the other was pulling at his hair. His erection was poking against her center and she grinned her forward and he groaned and pulled away from her neck.

He looked deeply into her eyes and then as he move his erection into her, she moaned then pulled his head down and their lips met. Their tongues intertwined and she moved her legs around his waist as he thrusted in and out of her and she started to move her hips with his. He would brush against her g spot and she scratched his back when he did.

"Faster," she moaned into his mouth and he moved faster. His hand cupped her breast with one hand and massaged it while the other was beside her head and he groaned as her walls tightened around him and her juices flowed against his erection and gave him more lubrication and he moved faster.

He sat up and pulled her on top of his erection and they sat in a sitting position. She put her arms around his neck and had one hand through his curls and she rode him. Their eyes were looking into each other's and she moved her hips fasted and her breast bounced near his face, he took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked slightly and she moaned loudly.

She started to tighten again and her juices poured into his lap which shot him over the edge and he let out a groan and shot inside her. She laid back against the bed and he laid next to her.

"I don't know what took me so long to do that, it was amazing," she breathed before kissing him again and rolled into her side.

"Yeah it was," he laid there and caught his breath.

"I love you Derek Shepherd," she breathed before falling asleep.

"I love you too Mer," he kissed her shoulder and got up and got his clothes and went into his room.

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><p><strong>An; And it is finally here! They get together but how will it effect their relationship? Will they make it work? Ok well I am going to update sometime this week so look forward to that.<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

Meredith POV

I woke up and I heard Derek whistling in the kitchen. I looked around and my clothes were scattered around the room. I sat up with this killer headache then went to grab a long shirt and underwear and pulled them on before walking into the kitchen.

"Morning," Derek smiled at me and I sat on the island.

"What has you in such a good mood, did you get laid or something?" I watched as his eyes followed the pancake he flipped then sat in on a plate in front of me.

"You can say that, do you remember what happened at all last night?"

"Well I remember going to Joe's then I drank three shots of tequila and I can't remember anything else," I watched as his eyes turned from happy to gloomy but he tried to hide it.

"Oh ok," he cleared his throat and continued to cook another pancake.

"How bad of a fool did I make myself?"

"It wasn't that bad."

"Oh god," I laid my head against the island, "I am never drinking tequila again."

"You say that all the time, never quit," he shook his head with a smile on his face.

"I know, we have a love-hate relationship."

My phone started buzzing against the kitchen table.

"It has been going off all morning, you better check it."

I walked over to see I had 14 missed calls from Lexie.

"It's Lexie," I said in a panic and answered the phone.

_Me; Lex? Are you alright!_

_Lexie; You finally pick up! I have been trying to call you all morning._

_Me; Why? Are you alright? _

I repeat, this time sounding more urgent.

_Lexie; Yes, Why wouldn't I? Anyway you have got to meet me at the hospital. I got somehting to tell you and it is extremely important._

_Me; Are you hurt?_

_Lexie; No I am not hurt. Just come and you will see. Bye._

She hung up the phone and I looked over at Derek.

"Do you know what this is about?" I walked back over and started to eat on my pancakes.

"Nope," he said but his face told a different story.

"You liar!"

He put on his fake offended face, "I wouldn't lie to you!"

I squinted my eyes at him, "You are lying right there! Just tell me, please."

"Nope, and you have to hear it from her," He came and sat beside me.

"So you do know something!"

"Not telling you," He smirked at me before taking a bite of pancake.

I put on my pouty face and he just shook his head and continued to eat. I rolled my eyes and muttered asshole under my breath and went into my room.

"Am not!" He called after me but I just ignored him. I threw on some pants and a sweater and hurried out the door.

I got to the hospital and immediately found Lexie waiting for me outside the doors.

"What's the big emergency," I tried to catch my breath. I had to park the farthest away because all the good spaces were taken.

"Look," she said excitingly as she held out her hand and there was a decent sized diamond ring on her third finger.

"You're engaged?" I looked up at her face and she seemed a little disappointed.

"You're engaged!" I said more excited then her face lit up and I pulled her into a quick hug.

"I know," her smile was a mile wide and she looked like she could burst with happiness.

"When did it happen?" I said as we started walking into the building She started telling me every single detail.

Derek POV

I grabbed the jacket as I walked out the front door and my phone was going off once again. The same familiar number popped up and that ignore button just got hit for the thousandth time.

I got to the hospital and went to do my rounds, I was riding the elevator with Mark when Meredith and Addison came on from the floor, we rode it all the way down to pick up people and I wasn't paying any attention when I heard someone clear their throat and I looked up. Rose stepped onto the elevator.

"Hello Derek," she turned her back to me and looked to see floor buttons.

"What are you doing here," I swallowed the spit and I heard Mark snicker and then both Meredith and Addison hit his arm.

"Maybe if you would answer my phone calls, you would know," she said angry and she tapped her foot as the elevator reached the third floor and Addison stepped off and Rose followed her and I followed Rose. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into an on-call room.

"What are you doing here," I ask again, more stern this time and I see her eyes water.

"I'm pregnant Derek," she let out a long breath. I felt my head get cloudy then tried to stop the urge to laugh.

"Oh god, you're pregnant with a teenagers baby, this is good," a smile came across my face in amusement.

"Really Derek? It's not his baby, I slept with him once and it was a mistake, it's your child," she spat out at me. My mouth dropped open and eyes widened. Her face looked sad but her eyes shouted amusement.

"How is it my baby? We haven't had sex in three months," I was confused, how was it mine. I always used a condom and she used birth control.

"You don't think I don't know that? I'm Eleven weeks pregnant and I am positive it's yours. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to my appointment," she walked toward the door and I grabbed her arm again.

"If it is mine, then I want to be there."

"I don't care anymore Derek, I stopped caring when you did," she scoffed and crossed her arms.

"I never stopped caring about you, you screwed one of your students while I was working to pay for the house you screwed him in," I said louder than I wanted.

"Oh you only stopped loving me that's right, you can do what you want but you obviously don't want me."

"Wait Rose, Lets try again," it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself then images of me and Meredith flashed through my head and I shook them away. I don't know if I want to be with her, but we have a child to think about.

"If you are willing to try for our baby, then I will too," I offered her a smile and her eyes lit up with excitement. What did I get myself into.

"Are you sure?" She questioned and I nodded. She pulled me into a kiss then drug me to the OB appointment.

Meredith POV

I was talking to Addison when I heard Rose and Derek from behind me. She came out of one of the exam rooms with Derek, both of them smiling and happy. They had a small set of pictures in their hand and Derek seemed happy again. I felt like someone had stabbed me while I was watching them and I though about Finn. Maybe that could have been us, but that's never going to happen then I thoroughly about how that should be me and Derek, no stop. I can't think like that, he's my best friend and he doesn't feel like that about me. I caught myself staring at him and he caught my glance. His eyes showed something totally different than his face.

"Mer?" Addison said, shaking my arm and I turned back to her.

"Yeah?" I looked at her, she was glancing over at Derek also.

"That bitch is lucky, he was planning to divorce her but she reeled him in again," she scoffed then looked back at her papers.

"Yeah, I just don't want him to be hurt again," I sighed and looked over at them again.

"There isn't much we can do Mer," she laid her hand on my shoulder. I couldn't help but feel jealous. I don't know why but suddenly I wanted that more than anything. She kissed his cheek, she looked happier than him but he still looked pretty happy. She caught me looking at them and smirked while he wasn't looking. I just rolled my eyes as my pager buzzed.

"Duty calls," I silenced my buzzer and rushed down to the ER before I could talk to Derek.

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><p><strong>An: How is it so far? I love when I get feedback from your beautiful faces and I can't wait to hear what you all say about this chapter, took a little turn eh? Sneaky Sneaky. Since I haven't posted in a week and a half, I decided there is going to be another part released later today along with a chapter of Look Into Your Heart. Please Review and leave feedback!<strong>


	6. Chapter 5

Derek's POV

"I promise I will be right over as soon as I get some things from Meredith's, alright you too," I hung up the phone as I climbed in my car. I turned the radio up a little as S&M by Rihanna came on and I remembered Meredith's body against mine as she danced. My mind slipped away to the previous night where her moans filled the air and he got hard instantly.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath and I couldn't drive this distracted. I looked around the empty parking lot for other people and pulled out my erection and began fulfilling my needs. At first I was imagining a very sexy woman which soon changed to Meredith's naked body. I could still feel the way our bodies felt against one another completely naked and her soft moans, God those moans. That was one of the sexiest noises on earth and in minutes I emptied myself over my jeans and some one my shirt. I grabbed a few napkins and wiped away any evidence.

I drove over to Meredith's and walked through the door, expecting no one to be there but I heard singing coming from the bathroom. That was the true voice of an angel. I went into my room and heard the water turn off. I closed the door and started putting my things in suitcases.

"But I don't feel like dancin when the old Joanna plays," I heard her in the living room singing along to the music and couldn't help but laugh because she's probably dancing. I open the door just to see and my prediction was correct.

"My heart can take the chance but my two feet can't find a way," she threw the towel she had around her body on the floor and I burst into laughter. She quickly turned around and her face was filled with horror, she realized she didn't have any clothes on and grabbed the towel.

"What the hell Derek!" She gasp.

"Having fun?" I grinned at her, she was embarrassed and it was cute. Stop it, I can't think that way.

"I thought you would be with Rose, and yes I was having fun," she rolled her eyes when she said Rose's name. I knew she despised Rose but we were going to have a baby.

"I had to grab my things, but you know you suck at dancing," I smirked.

"You're just jealous," she rolled her eyes and hurried into her room.

"Of course I would see her naked, again," I groan as I look down. I start thinking as I continue to pack, what if Rose never got pregnant, would I still be going back to her? I can't think like that, yes this baby maybe unexpected and terrible timing but I will still love it. I have to stop thinking about Meredith like that, so what if she said she loved me because she was shitfaced and couldn't possibly even mean that, we are friends and nothing more. I don't...

"Derek!" I heard Meredith behind me and it pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I turned around, a small part of me wanting her to be naked still but of corse she wasn't. She had on an old The Go Go's t-shirt and shorts.

"I've said your names at least three times, what is on your mind?" She looked concerned as she came in and sat down next to my suitcase on the bed.

"Nothing, just I'm going to be a dad," I said it less enthusiastic than I meant it.

"Well don't sound so enthusiastic Der," she giggle and I couldn't help but smile.

"It's all so sudden and I feel terrible for leaving you here all by yourself," I sighed as I look down to avoid eye contact. It was true, I don't want to leave. We had so much fun and I got to here her laugh all the time, the only thing is I can live here and take care of a child. I'm doing what is best for the baby, I have to make it work with Rose.

"Derek, I will be fine," she gave me a smile and reached out to grab my hand. Something happened when our hands touched but I couldn't pull away.

"You just broke things off with Finn, what am I going to do if God forbid something happens and it was because I wasn't here to..." I stopped. I couldn't think about that.

"Der, come on. I'm a big girl, see?" She stood up in front of me, "I promise I will be fine," she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tight, holding her head against my cheek. I wrapped my arms around her waist and took in her lavender scented conditioner.

"Mer," I whispered into her ear and she pulled her head back, keeping our body's latched together. He face was extremely close to mine and our lips just millimeters apart. I looked down at her lips and she noticed my eyes. She looked down at mine and before I know it her lips were against mine. I don't know how it happened but I wasn't complaining. Our lips danced together for a minute before she pulled back, looking horrified.

"Oh god Derek, what just happened," she sounded scared and she was pacing the room now.

"I don't know, Mer don't be scared," I tried to say but that made me freak out more.

"Don't me scared!? That's all you can say. I just kissed my best friend who is trying to work things out with his wife, yeah I'm a little freaked out!" She said.

"Meredith," I tried to reach out to her but she backed away.

"Derek, please just go," her words hit me like a bus.

"Come on Mer," I reached out again and she backed out the doorway.

"Please Derek, just go," her voice started to break then she went into her room and closed the door.

I'm so stupid, I mess everything up. I grabbed the rest of my things and leave like she wanted. I cursed myself all the way to Rose's house, how could I just let her go like that.

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><p><strong>An; Thank you for those of you with kind words to say about my writing, I usually don't address the people who say negative things but i can say this, if you don't like what I write, feel free to click off the screen :) Also if you want to criticize, there is this thing called constructive criticism, you should try it sometime :)<strong>

**To the person who said my Derek was an animal, he wasn't being an animal. If you read this chapter too, you would know that he never wanted to hurt her, he chose Rose because she was pregnant and he didn't know how Mer felt about him...**

**Again, Thank you to those of you who say the kind words, it honestly makes my day :) **


	7. Chapter 6

**Addressing**** the people who hate it:**

**If you continue to write immature comments but please have the balls to take yourself off anonymous and please message me if you want to continue to talk shit because this amuses me to have people who want to "troll" and "hate" on a fanfiction just because it isn't the way you want it to be written, it doesn't give you the right to call it rubbish.**

**Please take your ignorant arse somewhere else and be mature please :)**

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><p>Meredith POV<p>

It's been a month, a month since I have last talked to Derek. I have went out of my way to avoid him, not because I want to see him, but because I want to kiss him again. He is happy and there isn't anything I can do about that. I walk into the attending's lounge where Addison is sitting there drinking coffee with Mark.

"You guys, I swear I drink to much tequila," I gulp the vomit back down my throat. I haven't drank since the weekend but the hangover hasn't left.

"You are just now figuring that out Mer," Addison laughs.

"You haven't drank this much since college, you aren't that young anymore," he laughs also.

"I'm younger than you Mark," I smirk and his face goes straight and me and Addison both laugh.

"Hey only by a year," he sounds offended.

"So you called yourself old also so," I smirk and slip into my navy scrubs.

"She's right you know," Addison agrees.

"Oh says the one who is married with a kid," he rolls his eyes.

"Hey you're almost getting there buddy, you are engaged and soon she's gonna want babies," I think about Lexie having a baby before me and I get a bit jealous.

"Well yeah I mean..." he stops as Derek walks into the lounge.

"Morning," he smiles at everyone, looking at me for a second to long and I get chills. I quickly hurry out and down the the ER.

"Where am I needed?" I ask the nurse at the desk.

"There is a woman complaining of abdominal pain in curtain two and a man with head ache and vomiting in curtain six," she says handing me charts. I got to curtain two and pull it back.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Grey and..." I stop and sate at the woman sitting there.

"Meredith please help me,"she says panicked.

"What is wrong Rose?" I say annoyed. If it was my choice I would leave her here. I look at the little baby bump she has and it makes me want to stab her with a scalpel.

"This," she is almost crying when she moves the blanket off her and her pants are drenched with blood.

"My god! Some page OB and Dr Shepherd, Stat!" I yell out the curtain. I feel a bit dizzy staring at all the blood, it's everywhere. She starts crying and I grab her pants and pull them off, not even caring. I have to stop the bleeding or something. I start panicking, I am not sure what to do before I hear Addison.

"What do we got?" She says coming into the curtain.

"It has to stop," I start breathing heavily.

"Oh god, Meredith move," she says before moving me out of the way. My mind is blank and all I can think about is Derek.

"Meredith, wait outside the curtain for Derek, don't let him come inside," Addison says before she continues doing whatever she is.

I step out and pace around the curtain and wait as Derek runs in.

"what is it Meredith," he says waiting for me to answer.

"I... um..." I stutter out and the dizziness hits me again. The last thing I remember I was beginning to black out and Derek caught me as I fell.

"Meredith?" I woke as I heard a knock on my door and Addison comes in.

"What happened?" I sit up confused.

"You passed out, you are fine now," she is holding a chart- my chart.

"Did you run blood test?" I look down at my arm and notice the band-aid, stupid question.

"Mer, when was the last time you had sex with Finn?" She asks.

"Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you I never had sex with Finn... Wait," my eyes widen.

"When is the last time you had sex in general?" She asks concerned.

I sit and think for a minute, I can't remember. I don't remember having sex at all... it hits me. My memory replays the night of Finn and I breaking up. I remember Derek's body against mine and our naked bodies together in my bed.

"Oh my fucking god, I'm pregnant aren't I?" I start crying. I can't be having Derek's babies. He's married.

"Oh Mer," Addison sits the chart down and comes over and hugs me.

"Finn may not be here but you have me and Lexie and Mark, even Derek will help," she rubs my back and I cry harder.

"It's not Finn's," I mutter and she pulls back and looks at me confused.

"Who's is it?"

I burst into tears again. She hugs me again.

"It's ok you don't know the father, I will still be here," she comforts me and I pull away.

"I know who the father is," I gulp and there is a knock on the door. Derek comes in and he looks like he has been crying too.

"Addison can you leave for a second, I gotta talk to Meredith," he bites his lip and Addison nods and leaves.

"What is it Derek? Why aren't you with Rose?" I ask and his face gets cold.

"She knew," he says sitting at the chair at the side of the room.

"She knew?" I ask confused and wipe the tears.

"She knew she lost the baby a week ago, she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want to loose me," he says in disgust.

"Derek, I'm sorry," I say feeling bad.

"It's ok, how are you? I know you probably..."

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out and his eyes widen.

"Do... you... How?" He asks.

"Really Derek? Worst time to be clueless," I roll my eyes.

"I mean should I congratulate you? Call Finn?" He asks and I stare at him annoyed.

"How many fucking times do I have to say it to you people, me and Finn didn't have sex!"

"Oh well who's the father?"

"You! You moron!" I scream at him and his eyes get wide and his face is pale.

"H-h-how?" He is confused.

"Oh you know, when we had sex and you let me believe it was a dream and didn't tell me!" I was about to cry again.

"Mer, if I knew you remembered I would have told you, I love you for God sake's, of course I would have told you the truth but you never said a word about it so I kept quiet. I assumed you didn't remember."

"You love me?" That was the only thing I heard out of everything he said.

He stopped and thought for a minute. maybe he was going to take it back but then he smiled at me.

"Yes I love you Meredith, you're the only woman I've ever wanted," he stood up and walked over to me, sitting down at the end of my bed.

"Well why did you let me go through all this heartbreak and watch you crawl back to Rose?" I was angry and confused but a part of me was jumping for joy.

"I thought you loved thou whom shall not be named, then I broke up with Rose and I thought we had a chance but you met Finn, then Rose was pregnant and I thought I had to make it work for that child," I looked down at his hands ashamed. I reached over and lifted his face up and looked into his eyes.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, you may have made many mistakes in life and maybe going back with Rose was one of them but that makes you all the more human. I love you too," I smiled and he did too. We sat there for a minute before Addison came back in.

She told me I should start taking prenatal vitamins and how I should stay hydrated and all the just of everything but I was barely paying attention. Maybe this was my chance to finally be happy.


	8. Chapter 7

Meredith POV

"Mer, wake up," I heard the voice cut my slumber to a halt. I let out a groan before I left lips press against my cheek, lips which had stubble which was very scratchy.

"Shave," I mumbled and pushed him away.

"I was about to, we gotta get up and go to our first appointment today," he said excited. I was eight weeks pregnant but it was still so new to me. The part were in seven months I'm going to be holding a baby in my arms, not just any baby either, it was a baby with a man I've love forever. It's weird having him sleep in the same bed with me, I can't get use to the idea even if it's been like this for a month.

"Derek, hand me my phone," I pointed to the dresser and he walked over and tossed it to me.

"I have to do everything for you," he rolled his eyes as he walked back toward the bathroom.

"Hey! You got me knocked up!" I called back to him and he snickered. I heard the razor turn on and I started dialing the number.

"Hello?" She said groggily.

"Hey Lex, I have my first ultrasound in an hour, are you going to be there?"

"Um yeah!" her voice sounded cheerier.

"Ok, we'll meet you at the nurses station in the OB wing," I said and hung up the phone. I stood up and went to my closet and look through, I stopped in front of the mirror. Most people say you aren't showing at 8 weeks but I swear I'm showing just a tiny bit. I took off the sports bra I slept in and put on a normal bra and a long sleeve shirt. I found some jeggings and pulled them on, those were way more comfortable than jeans at this point.

"You looks sexy," Derek came in and wrapped his arms around me, placing his hands on my stomach and kissing my neck from behind.

"Stop it, get dressed and Lexie is meeting us there because she wants to be in the room," I pulled away from him and went into the kitchen. I smelt something and I felt my stomach began turning, I ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach. Derek had noticed me and ran in with me, he held my hair back and gently rubbed my back. As I finished I leaned back against him and he handed me a towel to wipe my mouth.

"Thanks," I sighed as I slowly stood up and flushed the toilet.

"What else am I good for?" He joked.

"There's a few things I could think of," I winked as I was rinsing my mouth out. He raised his eyebrow and flashed the McDreamy smile.

"Oh really," the smile didn't fade.

"Yes, like going to get rid of whatever that smell is in the kitchen and make sure it's never seen in this apartment ever again," I smiled and went to sit down on the bed.

"You're so lucky I love you," he smirked before kissing my forehead and going to the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later.

"The smell is gone, it was leftover seafood I brought home last night, I guess I forgot to throw it away, I'm sorry," he placed a hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead again.

"I forgive you now let's get going before we are late," I stood up and we both walked to the living room and out the front door, grabbing my purse and the car keys on the way out. The drive over was hilarious, he was trying to convince me it was going to be a boy and we would name him Lawrence after his great grandfather. We arrived at the hospital and walked up to the OB wing, hand-in-hand.

"How are you feeling Mer?" Lexie asked as she did every time I saw her.

"Fine, I'm already ready for this pregnancy to be over and for me to hold this baby in my arms," I smiled as I saw Addison walking up.

"You guys ready to go see this little munchkin," Addison smiled and we all nodded and followed her to an empty exam room. I changed into one of the gowns and got onto the exam table.

"So you know the drill," she said and I got into position and she pulled the monitor over so we could all see it and she started doing what she needed. Derek stood beside me and his eyes were glued on the screen while Lexie was watching also. We waited a minute for a clear picture to show up and a little blob came onto the screen.

"There it is," Addison said, pointed to the screen. She moved it around a bit and she made a 'hmm' noise which was never good.

"What is it Addie?" Derek asked, trying to figure out what she was 'hmm' about.

"Nothing, it's just..." she stopped and Lexie seemed to be the first to understand and she gasped.

"What is it?" I said nervously and looked at the screen.

"Do you see that?" She moved the wand around a bit and she froze the screen and waited for a second for us to grasp.

"Oh my god," Derek mumbled.

"Am I the only one not getting this?" I sat up and got closer to the screen.

"Meredith, look," Addison pointed to the screen at the two different black spots with two white blobs in each spot.

"You've got to be kidding me," I finally saw it.

"I'm not kidding, Meredith there are two embryos, you are having twins," she unfroze the screen and started for a second, you could see each little heart beat in each sac.

"Fraternal right?" Lexie asked and Addison nodded.

"And here is baby A," she pointed to the one positioned slightly lower than the other sac. She then turned on the sound and the heartbeat played across the speakers. I felt my eyes tear up, that was my baby - babies.

"Heartbeat is 144, which is great and measuring exactly 7w and 6d," she made measurements.

"What about the second one?" I asked. I looked over at Derek who was still in shock over it was twins. He wasn't upset because he was smiling.

"Baby B is measuring at 7w and 4d which isn't bad," she then turned on the sound again and the little thumping filled the room, this one seemed stronger. I looked over at Lexie and she was crying.

"Heartbeat is 168, this ones a strong one, just like its mom," She smiled up at me, at all three of us.

"Twins..." Derek finally said.

"Yes Derek, we've all noticed this," Addison laughed.

"I can't believe it," he said.

"Well believe it, you both are about to have your hands full in seven months," Addison seemed to be amused with the idea. She took a few more measurements and printed out pictures of the sonogram. She put away the monitor and told me to get dressed and she would be in after to talk to me.

"I'm so happy for both of you," Lexie said and hugged me tightly.

"Thanks Lex," I smiled.

"I gotta go, Rounds are about to start, I'll see you later," she quickly left and I started to get dressed again. Addison came in soon after I got my clothes back on and sat down to talk about eating the right amounts and things to help with the nausea. She gave me a new type of prenatal vitamin made for twins for extra nutrients before allowing us to leave.

"What do you want to do now?" I grabbed my purse and we both started walking out of the exam room toward the elevators.

"Well I have to go work, you should go get some sleep in the on-call room before your shift starts," he hit the third floor button as we got into the elevator.

"You aren't the boss of me," I crossed my arms and looked over at him, his look surprised. Stupid hormones.

"It wasn't a command, it was a suggestion and I only suggested it because I know that you didn't get much sleep last night," he rolled his eyes, the elevator stopped on the third floor and we both got off.

"I'm going to find Cristina," I leaned up and kissed him briefly like we have done it everyday for what seems like forever, it just came so naturally. I went the opposite way of him toward the nurses station.

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><p>"Twins!" she exclaimed, sounding surprised as her face turn amused.<p>

"Don't act all happy about it, I know you could care less, I need someone to rant about Derek too," we sat on the spare hospital beds in a hallway no one ever seems to come through.

"What did McDreamy do this time?" she opened up the bag of potato chips and began eating them, I took the bag from her and began munching.

"He always wants to keep an eye on me, like I'm going to go crazy or something," I groaned and laid back against the wall. Cristina took the chips away.

"Well, you did have a mini-meltdown and slept with anyone who would take you just almost two months ago," she said with a mouth full.

"Not my point, I'm fine!" I snapped back. "That was the old me, I have two babies to think about now and I'm finally in a place in my life where I am happy, completely."

"I am sure you are," she scoffed before her pager began beeping and she handed me the chip bag and hurried off.

"Why does every thing I am crazy," I said out loud, thinking no one was around.

"Because you are talking to yourself," he scoffed and came and sat down next to me, taking the chips from me and eating some.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you never to take food or scare a pregnant woman, and why are you down here!" I snatched the bag back and finished the bag quickly.

"I wanted some alone time, I've been here most of the night," he groaned, "Why are you down here?"

"I was talking to Cristina but she got called to an emergency, Addie said you were here all night. Shouldn't you be spending some time with your son since you have free time?"

"Hey, I don't judge you so you shouldn't judge you. I am suppose to go pick him up form daycare in a few minutes anyway, just wanted some alone time. Why didn't you go to the big trauma with Yang?" Alex took his phone out, checking the time and put it back into his pocket.

"I'm to tired for that, and I have to do a bowel resection on a woman who has been a patient of mine for quite some time."

"Alright, Well I better get going," Alex said as he stood up and walked off.

I looked down at my stomach, it was a bit poked out but I knew it was probably from bloating, I rubbed it gently and thought about the future.

"Hey there little babies, I don't even know if you can hear me yet, but I just wanted to let you know that your mom loves you very much. Anything you ever need and I will always be right there by your side. You will also have your wonderful daddy by your sides and your amazing aunts and uncles. You will never be alone in this world, I promise you that," I took a deep breath and held back the tears. These babies were going to be the most important thing to me in my entire life, I will never treat them like my mother treated me. I sighed before getting up and walking down the corridor toward the elevator to go back up to the third floor.

**An; Oh my god, It's been a month since I updated! I feel so terrible! I just got back from vacation and I wanted to post before I left but I hit some major writers block and I wanted to put up a decent chapter since I haven't updated in so long. Hope you enjoyed it!**


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